Episode 34: 3 Tips to Speak Up for Yourself Without Being Rude
Hello and welcome, welcome, welcome to yet another episode of Kosmo Unfiltered.
Today I’m joined by my man, Wes, and we’re gonna be talkin’ about all the best ways for you to speak your mind.
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And without further ado… let’s dive right into the deep end!
I Bet You’ve Never Heard This Cheesy Saying Before…
Ya’ know, my dad always told me this one.
He would say, “Son, you know why you got two ears and one mouth?...
So you can listen twice as much as ya talk…
And right now, that mouth of yours is doing a whole lot of talkin…”
But even after he first told me that… it only sunk in a long time after.
Because back then, I just had this need to be heard. And let me tell ya if any of you feel that you have this need too… listen to this:
When you want to be heard by people… you are STOPPING another guy from being heard.
And they got that exact same need to be heard as you do.
Even now, when I’m talkin’ with somebody, I always have to stop and think to myself:
Slow down. Maybe this guy just doesn’t want to have to hear what you are gonna say.
And man, that has really changed my life for the better. It’s had such a big impact.
So that’s what it was like for me when I was young.
But for a lot of you guys… you might have the flip-side problem.
How to Talk More
So for all of you who deal with not being able to speak up…
Don’t worry… Uncle Kosmo is here to help. We’ve gone and made some tips and tricks you can use to help solve this.
1. Get the Right People
Here’s a big thing I think people have a hard time with.
I think that most people just don’t have the right place for them to open up.
*Quick side note - if you want to know how to be able to put people in place to listen to what you want to say… read ‘Never Split the Difference’ by Chris Voss. Thank me later*
That book is gonna teach you how you can make sure the other person has been heard… so you can better make your point… and it’s a win-win situation.
But the basis of all this is on having the right people in front of you. Make sure you get that right first.
2. Ask the Right Questions
First up: the first thing I would say on this is do not ask open-end questions.
Try these formats to see much better results…
“So based on what you’re saying … is that right?”
“So what I’m hearing is … is that right?”
Asking open-end questions will leave you in a place where you never get to speak. You will be hearing answers non-stop.
3. Get the Body Language Right
I mean, here’s the thing.
You could hear every word that your spouse, or friend, or co-worker says…
But not agree with any of it… and nod your head to every single point they make.
You have to make sure your body language is on point. Always.
I mean, I forget the exact number… but the way we move our bodies when someone is talking is like a third of the entire conversation.
It is literally so, so important when you are talking.
Again I think that is one of the reasons why a lot of people don’t speak up.
They will read what guys say with their bodies, and they might even get scared to speak up.
But again, when you make a space where you are free to hear others, and THEN others will hear you… that’s the right place to be.
What are some ways that you can make sure that you can speak up… while also hearing what others have to say? Let us know and tag us on social media! @kosmounfiltered
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