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Episode 27: You Are NOT Responsible For Someone Else's Happiness

Episode 27: You Are NOT Responsible For Someone Else's Happiness

Hello everybody, and welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of Kosmo Unfiltered.

Today, I’m joined once again by my man Wes for Episode 27.

In today’s episode, we are gonna be talkin’ about something that I think everyone can relate to in one way or another.

We are gonna be talking about how you are NOT responsible for other people’s happiness. 

And the other way around too… ‘coz nobody is gonna be responsible for your happiness except you!

So if you like the episode, please make sure to leave a like, comment, subscribe, and share it with one of your friends?

All ready? Let’s dive right into the good stuff!

Are You Guilty?

See, here’s the thing with this topic. 

For a large part of my life…

And… well… when I say a large part. I mean, like almost all of it.

I thought that I was responsible for other people’s happiness.

But… Young Kosmo learned the hard way… that that’s not the case.

But eventually, I kinda realized that wasn’t the case. Actually, I realized something a lot more serious. I realized that it wasn’t actually that I was responsible… it was that toxic guilt was my issue.

Yup. Toxic Guilt. 

Ever heard of that before?

Oh no, you say? You haven’t heard of that before?

Well, here… lemme tell ya what that means ;)

Basically… toxic guilt is when you experience guilt without having done anything wrong.

You ever got that one before? Man, when I heard this, I realized I had lived with this forever. I almost thought it was normal.

Story Time:

Here we go.

Strap yourselves in.

So my wife is a worker. She just gets s*** done. All the time.

That meant I used to guilt her all the time with this.

“Hey… we never go on vacation…”

“We never go out to BBQ events together…”

I mean, then it literally got to the point where I realized that she is not responsible for my own happiness. That’s when the penny dropped.

I realized I needa quit guilting her into tryna make me happy.

Coz although she’s my wife, I still couldn’t depend on her for my own happiness. 

I mean, I had so much trauma as a child when I was growing up, this is just one of the areas in which it fell out.

But once I understood that this wasn’t the case and I was responsible for my own happiness, then everything else just fell into place.

I even went on a couple of vacations by myself. Like last year I took two of ‘em. And loved it!

That’s when I realized the real value of not letting other people dictate your happiness. 

When It Just Ain’t Yo Fault

I like the story that Wes told earlier in this episode. He was talking about his grandma and what it was like growing up in his family.

And it made me realize… that sometimes you can have resentment for someone because of something that you committed to in the first place.

Isn’t that just crazy?...

Like that is something that directly ties into the idea of not being responsible for other people’s happiness.

Sometimes we can be so irrational that we don’t even realize that we’re not doing things for other people. 

This is how I think resentment builds in relationships. Little by little until it snowballs into something that’s too big to be ignored.

Even stay-at-home parents, for example… Man, I have no idea how people do that.

Like all the tension that might build up during the day of work, and it’s not like they get to leave at 5pm, you know?

It’s just incredible, really, I salute those guys. 

But this brings me back to my main point. Like, I ain’t a doctor or a physicist, so this is not medical advice… but I remember that when I was going through medication, I always thought to myself that they were in control of my happiness.

And I didn’t like that. I didn’t like that these tiny little pills were in charge of my happiness.

Because I wanted to be in control, so I stopped taking them… simple as. 

Like I was on Zenex. Which is super-hard to get off. 

But anyway. I ain’t a doctor, and that ain’t medical advice. Just my two cents.

Homework

So what is something that you can do today to start cutting the ties from other people and start holding yourself responsible for your happiness? Let us know on social media @kosmounfiltered!

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